Aspiring DM

I have stalled somewhat over the past 2 months.

Rolled to a stop.

It’s ridiculous.

I realised over the last weekend that I passed my PSM I test at the end of August, that’s 5 months ago. 5 bloody months! Okay, I went and passed the Google cloud Fundamentals shortly after and went to a few Agile meetups, started a blog, but what else? Put a few things in Trello and met a few people.

The books I was advised to read are sitting there on the bookshelf, their screams of ‘read me’ being slowly diminished by the thickening layer of dust developing over them. Not that my house is dirty or anything but is more a metaphor I guess. It’s been a difficult couple of months.

I feel bad.

I really want to do this. I’ve asked massive favours from friends and family to help me on this path and now I’m just treading water.

Not good.

I want this for many reasons. For a better and more valuable career path, in order to work in that fantastic environment that I have been exposed to, for my own self worth and to prove that I can do it, to better provide for my family, a more secure job and future, for those who are invested in and helping me. As well as the fact that I’m just stagnating in my current position and know I can achieve a lot more.

A hell of a lot more.

I owe it to my wife, friends, family, and I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I owe it to myself.

I met with a friend of a friends sister who is also on the DM path and we were going to push each other along but I’ve failed on my side of the bargain so far. Pfft.

How does one get back on track, what is the secret recipe to galvanising oneself back into action and reaching those graspable goals? I do hope I hurry up and find out.

I will bloody do this.

It can be difficult, even demoralising at times not being able to get valid feedback from potential employers if I’m doing the right thing. Am I really prioritising my learning in the right order, doing the best I can?

Even if you do 1% of the things you want to do, that’s 1% more than nothing, it’s still something.

I really need to crank that motor and get running again.

Even if it is a 1098 A-series!